citymama's Diaryland Diary

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I find this a tad unprofessional

So I finally have something interesting to report.

I'm not going to get into the whole backstory, but a broker is showing my apt to prospective tenants, which is a pain in the ass since baby shit is everywhere in this place, and I can't just stuff it all in the closets, because they open the closets. But I digress.

One day the painter was coming to do some work in the bathroom, so I cleared out. When I came home, I found a digital camera on my bed. Now, I was a little disturbed by this, as the painter was here doing the bathroom and had no business being in the bedroom at all. So I turned it on and looked at the pic: it was the view from my bedroom window. I clicked through, and there were shots of the apt, so I relaxed: pictures for the real estate website. After my apt, there were photos of others in the building, which I also looked at, since I'm nosy about other peoples decorating.

And then the apartment pictures ran out.

Y'all. That stupid ass realtor left a digital camera full of graphic, close up shots of him having sex with another man. And you know, I'm pretty liberal. But some of these pictures made my hair curl. At one point I found one that I couldn't figure out - I couldn't identify what the strange configuration of flesh on the little screen was.Did not compute. And when I finally figured it out, I had to turn the camera off. Immediately.

I called my husband and told him to get home early before the realtor wised up and came to get it - he refused to look at the pictures until he could no longer stand my hounding, and finally relented, "All right, pick ONE and I'll look at it." I don't think I have to tell you which one I picked. And he looked at it, and his eyeballs started bleeding and then fell out onto the floor. And the landlord came to pick up the camera, because the broker didn't dare show his face.

And then today I went for coffee with my friend Jerry and the baby and I passed him in the lobby, with a bunch of people getting ready to look at my place. And there were all manner of horrifying images on that camera, but when I looked at him all I could think was, "Dude, I saw a closeup of your BUTTHOLE."

And in case you were wondering, that wasn't the one that made M's eyes fall out.

8:09 p.m. - 2006-02-01

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